Background: Someone stole my credit card info so I had to cancel it, but seeing as my wireless nternet connection payment is through my credit card, that, unfortunately, also got canceled.
Not having the internet has made me realise how intensely dependent I am on it. Not that that will come as a surprise to anyone, but it really is a shock to yourself. No matter how much you accept and know that you are addicted to the internet, you never can really comprehend how much time you spend on it, or how much you need it at the time, until you don’t have it.
But, in addition to my insane boredom without it, there is something calming in it. Or rather, something I wish to learn from it, train myself from the experience. I write more, I read more, I get more done. I play with my cat, I clean my apartment, I recycle a few bottles to be made into food scoops and create some fabric grocery bags. There is something in me that wants to know that I can live without it. I live without a few things (I won’t say ‘many’, but a few) and I always find that I grow in some way for everything I do without. There is something refreshing in it. Though I will continue using it as I had before when it comes back, these little stints without it are quite refreshing. I want to know that I can live without it and that I am capable of being with myself and not simply by myself.
It also made me realise, however, that because I live without a television, I am more dependent on the internet. For weather, news, etc. What a shock when it rained on Monday :) But not having the news is getting to me. I don’t want to spend a few hours everyday in Starbucks with the New York Times to catch up. I must say, though, having a hard copy newspaper in my hands was a very, very nice feeling. I’m a news junkie, what can I say. Actually, news and Starbucks isn’t a bad mix at all.
I’ve written a few letters to people, which I do on a semi-regular basis anyway (I know, I’m strange) and now I wish I had more addresses for some people. And I’m rereading Watership Down. I never reread books, but I haven’t read it in 10 years and it used to be my favourite book. I’m enjoying it again so far :D